This past year= Blissful Insanity.
I’d say that I’ve always had quite the peachy life. Nothing ever really traumatic happened to me as a small kid. I just went to school, spent time with my siblings, ate some food, hung out with friends, went to church… you know, the basics.
I was a very sensitive child. (I am still to this day) The things people said to me and did for me I felt full force, whether it was good or bad. I was especially sensitive to other people’s feelings. Whatever emotion someone I loved felt, whether that be joy, pain, sorrow, or happiness, I felt it too. I know it seems impossible to feel what other people feel without going through the same experience yourself, but for me, that’s always been possible.
I was also very reserved. (I am still to this day also) I keep everything bottled inside. It’s mainly because of my fear to hurt another person that I choose to keep things to myself. I fear confrontation especially. When ever I go through something hard, I keep it to myself… like always.
As things and events have happened this past year that have been really hard on some people I love, and myself included, I thought that this quality of mine was going to kill me. Not only did I have to deal and manage my own emotions, but I also had to do the same with other people’s. There were honestly some days where I didn’t think I could take it anymore. I felt too deeply and it was really wearing down on me. I took every situation so seriously and over-analyzed everything in my mind.
So was this ability to feel emotions deeply a gift or a burden? During the months of November to about May, I was almost certain it was a burden; no doubt. But I’ve come to realize that within these past few months that it is actually a gift; a divine gift from my Heavenly Father. My attitude towards trials has done a complete 360. It’s like when the stormy, cloudy days subside, and the sun peeks out and you can see everything clearly.
I’ve learned that if you learn to thank God during your trials, He will turn your burdens into blessings. I’ve learned that if you pray to Heavenly Father and ask if He will help you learn the lessons you need to learn during these trials, He will open your eyes to see them. I’ve learned that trials are proof that Heavenly Father loves you. I’ve learned that trials are times for us to grow and learn in ways we thought we could never do before. I’ve learned that trials happen so other, greater things can fall into place. I’ve learned that sometimes trials take place so that Heavenly Father can bring us closer to Him. I’ve learned that trials we endure and the experience we gain through them can bless the lives of others as we relate to them and connect with them. I’ve learned that trials help us to be more non-judgmental of those around us because we are never sure of what they are going through. I’ve learned that the Atonement isn’t just for the sinner, but the sorrowful and broken-hearted too. And most importantly, I’ve learned that the morning always comes.
I am so thankful that Heavenly Father has entrusted me with hard things. He loves me so much that He gave me an opportunity to grow and learn. Certainly when one door closes, another one opens. Actually for me it is when one door closed, 100 opened. (haha) But seriously. Trials bring us rewards. They bring us happiness. They bring us blessings. They brings us a stronger testimony. They bring us stronger relationships with our Heavenly Father, those we love, and most importantly our Savior. If it takes just a small season of sadness and heartbreak, then the trials are absolutely worth it.
I promise that if we turn to the Lord during our trials and completely and utterly rely upon Him and His love, we will see our trials as blessings. He will help us through it. There are somedays when you think you can’t do it, but I promise that with His help, you CAN. He is ever-mindful of us. He loves us. We must remember that He gives us trials because He loves us and wants us to grow. He wants us to one day become like He is. God will not stop giving us trials until the day we become all that He created us to be.